It is singularly amazing sometimes the coincidences and conveniences that life throws at us, especially when we are least expecting such things. That one thing that you may have had the became something from nightmare may just have a mirror edge on the other side...through the looking glass, indeed. Personally, I have never really led what most term a "normal" life, though I have done some "normal" things...went to college, learned a few things, worked, paid bills, even tried to buy a house once not too long ago. But...never pretended to live in the same "world" as most, nor will I ever. Those that know me, do see this...I do live in a world that is infinity more complex, rewarding, and frightening than most scarce believe outside of movies or a good book. Not discussing fully certain beliefs or experiences, just suffice to say that "there is more to the world than just your philosophy".
Even then...with all I've seen, done, heard, and been through I still remain amazed and surprised at the quirks and happenstances of life...even mine. To be fair, I have been somewhat of a vagabond, traveling up and down the eastern seaboard of these United States, including a few other places...Kentucky, Georgia, Texas, South Carolina, and elsewhere... Do I go because I want to? Sometimes, sure. More likely that I feel drawn, or pulled to certain locations at certain times, or something happens that makes such a relocation necessary, such as a job offer in Delaware making 35+k/year, for instance.
Currently, it seems that things are in somewhat of a transient state, ending what WAS and the start of what IS, or will be. Granted, that's the way of things for most, from a philosophical standpoint, but...hard to explain, even harder for someone to believe, but it feels to be somewhat...more, something...better.
Not getting into too many details, but...damn....just damn. Like a mirror's edge as I stated earlier... I'll leave you with this...if you turn around the corner, and stare fully in the eyes the rest of your life, and get a sense as to what kind of life that's going to be, bear this advice in mind:
Buckle up, sit back, enjoy the ride, pop that damn red pill, and don't fuck it up! I fully intend to follow it, myself...
Friday, August 21, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Advice from the grave...
Nickleback - "If today was your last day"
My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?
Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?
And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?
And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
____________________________
I had planned to write a blog on the subject of "Hope", a topic never far from my thoughts of late, but finding the song above, it reminded me of a post that I had written some weeks ago, but removed due to some personal information regarding Yours Truly that I still have some trouble sorting out most days, but I feel that maybe the ideas should be shared after all, and the song does pose more than a few good questions on the subject.
So, with that being said, I'll skip straight to the punchline like I have the tendency to do at times. I am a dead man, there is no mistake. I walk, I talk, I breathe, and occasionally I unshackle the chains that tie me to my desk and go somewhere. Because, my friends, I died a little over two years ago on an operating room table at Central Carolina Community Hospital in Sanford, NC during surgery following a car accident that also claimed the life of my maternal grandmother. Cause of death: Trauma and Exsanguination (bled to death).
Now that I have freaked you out just a little with that statement, obviously I was resuscitated, given a full body transfusion and two weeks worth of antibiotics, painkillers, and muscle relaxers. Enough to make a few stoners feel GREAT for a month of two...lol. I still have aches, pains, and complications from the accident and the surgery itself, but since I have the pain tolerance usually heard about in stories told by a "friend of a friend", I cope alright most days.
So...when the subject of living everyday like it's going to be your last comes up, sure I may seem lighthearted about it, crack a witty joke, or some such; but trust me...I am being deadly serious. Couldn't be more serious, matter of fact. So...take it from me: you don't want to approach that moment, that day with things left open...unfinished business, if you will. Or regrets; we all have them, but it's what we do about them that can make all the difference in the world.
So, the question again. If today was your last day, what would you do? Would you call everyone you love and say so, if just for the few seconds it takes to say it? Would you call a friend and say thanks for putting up with you? Would you look up that person you treated not so well in high school and buy them a beer? Look up an ex and wish them the best? Or would you do what you do everyday? If you're single, and you knew where your soul mate was...no matter where...would you go after them, just to spend that last day in their arms? Or just sit there, at your computer reading this, and think about it? Or just say: "Oh well, that's life"?
Believe me...it will happen. Maybe not today, tomorrow, next week, or even this year. But one day, you're going to die, we all are; all sarcasms aside. Instead of burdening us, this fact should free us! Understand something, I felt it; that feeling that we've all seen in the faces and heard in the voices of dying relatives...that feeling of going home, and that's ok to let go. I know it very well, and still remember what it felt like. Having been there, I know that dying is not something to be scared of, really. It's what we leave behind that does...but that lack of fear helps me to be honest about some things, to deal with those I love in a way that I was never able to before. Cause guess what? THEY may go before you do, and if they do, what then? Are you going to regret that argument with your best friend for the next ten, twenty years, or will you make amends before it's too late? But in releasing that fear, we are able to understand the time ahead of us, and what we can do with it.
I really don't want to drag this out long, so I'll leave it with just a simple thing. Live everyday of the rest of your life as though it was your last. One day...it will be. To my friends and family, I love ya...thanks. To any enemies reading this...ya well, you're not worth it, but I forgive you anyway.
Take care, live your life to its fullest, if you're with someone, give them a hug for the hell of it. If you're single, do the same...just don't get arrested for doing it!
My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?
Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?
And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?
And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
____________________________
I had planned to write a blog on the subject of "Hope", a topic never far from my thoughts of late, but finding the song above, it reminded me of a post that I had written some weeks ago, but removed due to some personal information regarding Yours Truly that I still have some trouble sorting out most days, but I feel that maybe the ideas should be shared after all, and the song does pose more than a few good questions on the subject.
So, with that being said, I'll skip straight to the punchline like I have the tendency to do at times. I am a dead man, there is no mistake. I walk, I talk, I breathe, and occasionally I unshackle the chains that tie me to my desk and go somewhere. Because, my friends, I died a little over two years ago on an operating room table at Central Carolina Community Hospital in Sanford, NC during surgery following a car accident that also claimed the life of my maternal grandmother. Cause of death: Trauma and Exsanguination (bled to death).
Now that I have freaked you out just a little with that statement, obviously I was resuscitated, given a full body transfusion and two weeks worth of antibiotics, painkillers, and muscle relaxers. Enough to make a few stoners feel GREAT for a month of two...lol. I still have aches, pains, and complications from the accident and the surgery itself, but since I have the pain tolerance usually heard about in stories told by a "friend of a friend", I cope alright most days.
So...when the subject of living everyday like it's going to be your last comes up, sure I may seem lighthearted about it, crack a witty joke, or some such; but trust me...I am being deadly serious. Couldn't be more serious, matter of fact. So...take it from me: you don't want to approach that moment, that day with things left open...unfinished business, if you will. Or regrets; we all have them, but it's what we do about them that can make all the difference in the world.
So, the question again. If today was your last day, what would you do? Would you call everyone you love and say so, if just for the few seconds it takes to say it? Would you call a friend and say thanks for putting up with you? Would you look up that person you treated not so well in high school and buy them a beer? Look up an ex and wish them the best? Or would you do what you do everyday? If you're single, and you knew where your soul mate was...no matter where...would you go after them, just to spend that last day in their arms? Or just sit there, at your computer reading this, and think about it? Or just say: "Oh well, that's life"?
Believe me...it will happen. Maybe not today, tomorrow, next week, or even this year. But one day, you're going to die, we all are; all sarcasms aside. Instead of burdening us, this fact should free us! Understand something, I felt it; that feeling that we've all seen in the faces and heard in the voices of dying relatives...that feeling of going home, and that's ok to let go. I know it very well, and still remember what it felt like. Having been there, I know that dying is not something to be scared of, really. It's what we leave behind that does...but that lack of fear helps me to be honest about some things, to deal with those I love in a way that I was never able to before. Cause guess what? THEY may go before you do, and if they do, what then? Are you going to regret that argument with your best friend for the next ten, twenty years, or will you make amends before it's too late? But in releasing that fear, we are able to understand the time ahead of us, and what we can do with it.
I really don't want to drag this out long, so I'll leave it with just a simple thing. Live everyday of the rest of your life as though it was your last. One day...it will be. To my friends and family, I love ya...thanks. To any enemies reading this...ya well, you're not worth it, but I forgive you anyway.
Take care, live your life to its fullest, if you're with someone, give them a hug for the hell of it. If you're single, do the same...just don't get arrested for doing it!
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