Saturday, April 30, 2011
Faith is.....
Faith, in all its forms, is not to a thing to cling to against all hope like a life-raft in the middle of a vast ocean. Faith is the all encompassing hope itself that raises us above the waters so we do not need the life raft at all.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
To everything....a price
Call it the holiday if you like, this time of the year were the subject of sacrifice does come into play. Whether it is the Christian traditions or those...older. Essentially, all religions, faiths, and belief structures, save for a few, hold true to some concept of sacrifice. Whether a consistent one, a one time only affair, or those darker. As my own personal, spiritual, and faith background usually leads me to feeling a bit violent about this topic, I'll leave the darker ones alone...to say I do not approve is a vast understatement (lol).
Essentially, in my belief and experience, everything in life is a sacrifice, or more precise...a balance. Want your bills paid? Gotta lay off the movies, etc. New Car, kids need food? You get it. TO obtain, we must typically abstain. Most will call this common sense without giving it much further thought that it is a sacrifice, a balance...and that has a power of its own. Point in fact, the very act of sacrifice, the acknowledgment of it has power, even if only to ourselves. Sacrifice of things, of places, people (associations, not literal), lifestyles, or even of flesh. But, you ask, why flesh...you said not the dark stuff!
Darker "stuff" is always when you foist that which is personal or of self onto another in order to bypass the cost. Granted, it does have a cyclical way of rebounding...law of three much? What I am referring to is my favorite (though not my only) example of a personal sacrifice. One that proves the point, has physical, scientific, verifiable proof. (Take that metaphysics professors....:P). When I was 14 years old, I fell out of a tree (yea I know...I have a thing for heights....love them, ask me why ;) ). and broke my eft arm just below my shoulder. As a cast was not practical, let alone a full upper body one, due to the location of the break, I had surgery at Womack Army Hospital where I had internal and external pins implanted to hold my shoulder in place and wore a shoulder immobilizer for a few months. The drawback to this surgery was that it sealed the growth plate of my shoulder, which at 14, would leave me as an adult with a right arm 4-6 inches longer than my left. (It only actually got 3 inches longer).
These facts can be verified via medical records and those that I did go to high school with that remember (I made the pins no secret....I thought they were cool, most thought they were gross as I had to clean them regularly....lol). I was about 16-17 years old, and the shorter left arm was really annoying me, and of course, a teenager so I felt a bit inadequate. So I took one of my silver crosses and branded it three times consecutively onto that left arm...the scar's still there, but faded a bit. I did it knowingly as a personal sacrifice, a price that I was willing to pay for myself, of myself. I'll not say how long, just that it was very quickly...my left arm was, and still is, the same length as it would have been normally.
Metaphysical, old religion(ish), or psycho-somatic....who cares the real reason for it, I suppose. For me, it worked and that's the whole point some times, isn't it? I'll let the skeptics, religious nuts, skeptics, and poseurs debate the hows and whys. To me, it is when you doubt something that it loses its power, even if it's solely personal.
I'll take a derail, slightly, here. There are those that hold true to some of the same beliefs I do, but of everything BUT prices and balance. These individuals read a bit too much Crowley, who said "An it harm none, do what thou wilt is the whole of the law". Most tend to conveniently forget the "Am it harm none" part. I have acutally yet to meet a Crowley-it(?) that is happy in life for a greater extent, or are fulfilled with what they have chosen out of life. Make of that what you will, but I know what I think....lol.
Even balances and sacrifices and losses have a cyclical way of rebounding on is. The most personal aspect of that fact is my beloved daughter, Kaelyn. I felt her grow inside my ex-wife for seven months, picked out her name along with said ex, and held her for the entire, single, whole, and only day she drew breath. I have called it the best day and the worst day of my entire life (that's saying something), what most are not aware is that a long time ago, a fortune was told, among a few others at that time, which said I would not father and raise a child of my own. I have lived the last 20+ years with that knowledge. Hence my surprise and extreme happiness....and sadness over her birth. I cremated my daughter and have had her with me ever since and always will.
That price...that small blessing did come back around to me later in the guise of yet another Choice, another price to pay...but a story for another time, maybe another place. Essentially, to gain...we give up something in exchange. Whether or not it is acknowledged or not, there is a price to be paid. The tricks of it is to be prepared to pay it and to take that price unto ourselves! I have met...individuals that try to foist that price unto others, whether it is emotional, financial, or spiritual. None of us are innocent of the first two, especially myself....such is life. But the spiritual, or even physical, price must be paid by us and us alone. Another practical example is the drunk, or alcoholic. Case in point...drunk drivers. I've known those that have only ever hurt themselves, lost their keys, etc. By the same token, I have met those that have foisted that price onto others, causing property damage, injuries, and even death onto those unlucky enough to pass by.
Even emotional prices can take a toll...on our self control, discipline, social lives, and even jobs. Speaking of myself, I have tried to leave my propensity towards impatience, rash action, and passion (which combined with some things are a pretty odd combination) behind. So I live my time mostly not being bothered by those things that would "get a rise" out of me, and try to be "at harmony" with myself and such. It is a challenge, as I am naturally a very active personality, and my first reaction to most problems is to jump and fix. That has gotten me into many vast problems in the past, leading to my long path towards redemption and forgiveness (same story for another time, perhaps). Thus sometimes I find myself quite at peace, but extremely restless at the same time, and the intensifies certain things which only increase my current irritations.
So in closing I say....do be careful of what you wish for, or what you want. Make sure you are prepared for the price that you will have to pay in order to reach that goal. Even if it's something as passe as graduating from school as a valedictorian, or as "intangible" as reading the stars for signs. The last thing anyone, you, or me really needs is for the balance to be of a price too high for us to pay, or to be willing to pay. Then...you are either well and truly screwed, or you seek "alternative methods", and then you and I, my friend....we'll have issues. :D
Note: Some thing were omitted from this post after the writing of it dealing more in depth with my accident and its immediate aftereffects.
Essentially, in my belief and experience, everything in life is a sacrifice, or more precise...a balance. Want your bills paid? Gotta lay off the movies, etc. New Car, kids need food? You get it. TO obtain, we must typically abstain. Most will call this common sense without giving it much further thought that it is a sacrifice, a balance...and that has a power of its own. Point in fact, the very act of sacrifice, the acknowledgment of it has power, even if only to ourselves. Sacrifice of things, of places, people (associations, not literal), lifestyles, or even of flesh. But, you ask, why flesh...you said not the dark stuff!
Darker "stuff" is always when you foist that which is personal or of self onto another in order to bypass the cost. Granted, it does have a cyclical way of rebounding...law of three much? What I am referring to is my favorite (though not my only) example of a personal sacrifice. One that proves the point, has physical, scientific, verifiable proof. (Take that metaphysics professors....:P). When I was 14 years old, I fell out of a tree (yea I know...I have a thing for heights....love them, ask me why ;) ). and broke my eft arm just below my shoulder. As a cast was not practical, let alone a full upper body one, due to the location of the break, I had surgery at Womack Army Hospital where I had internal and external pins implanted to hold my shoulder in place and wore a shoulder immobilizer for a few months. The drawback to this surgery was that it sealed the growth plate of my shoulder, which at 14, would leave me as an adult with a right arm 4-6 inches longer than my left. (It only actually got 3 inches longer).
These facts can be verified via medical records and those that I did go to high school with that remember (I made the pins no secret....I thought they were cool, most thought they were gross as I had to clean them regularly....lol). I was about 16-17 years old, and the shorter left arm was really annoying me, and of course, a teenager so I felt a bit inadequate. So I took one of my silver crosses and branded it three times consecutively onto that left arm...the scar's still there, but faded a bit. I did it knowingly as a personal sacrifice, a price that I was willing to pay for myself, of myself. I'll not say how long, just that it was very quickly...my left arm was, and still is, the same length as it would have been normally.
Metaphysical, old religion(ish), or psycho-somatic....who cares the real reason for it, I suppose. For me, it worked and that's the whole point some times, isn't it? I'll let the skeptics, religious nuts, skeptics, and poseurs debate the hows and whys. To me, it is when you doubt something that it loses its power, even if it's solely personal.
I'll take a derail, slightly, here. There are those that hold true to some of the same beliefs I do, but of everything BUT prices and balance. These individuals read a bit too much Crowley, who said "An it harm none, do what thou wilt is the whole of the law". Most tend to conveniently forget the "Am it harm none" part. I have acutally yet to meet a Crowley-it(?) that is happy in life for a greater extent, or are fulfilled with what they have chosen out of life. Make of that what you will, but I know what I think....lol.
Even balances and sacrifices and losses have a cyclical way of rebounding on is. The most personal aspect of that fact is my beloved daughter, Kaelyn. I felt her grow inside my ex-wife for seven months, picked out her name along with said ex, and held her for the entire, single, whole, and only day she drew breath. I have called it the best day and the worst day of my entire life (that's saying something), what most are not aware is that a long time ago, a fortune was told, among a few others at that time, which said I would not father and raise a child of my own. I have lived the last 20+ years with that knowledge. Hence my surprise and extreme happiness....and sadness over her birth. I cremated my daughter and have had her with me ever since and always will.
That price...that small blessing did come back around to me later in the guise of yet another Choice, another price to pay...but a story for another time, maybe another place. Essentially, to gain...we give up something in exchange. Whether or not it is acknowledged or not, there is a price to be paid. The tricks of it is to be prepared to pay it and to take that price unto ourselves! I have met...individuals that try to foist that price unto others, whether it is emotional, financial, or spiritual. None of us are innocent of the first two, especially myself....such is life. But the spiritual, or even physical, price must be paid by us and us alone. Another practical example is the drunk, or alcoholic. Case in point...drunk drivers. I've known those that have only ever hurt themselves, lost their keys, etc. By the same token, I have met those that have foisted that price onto others, causing property damage, injuries, and even death onto those unlucky enough to pass by.
Even emotional prices can take a toll...on our self control, discipline, social lives, and even jobs. Speaking of myself, I have tried to leave my propensity towards impatience, rash action, and passion (which combined with some things are a pretty odd combination) behind. So I live my time mostly not being bothered by those things that would "get a rise" out of me, and try to be "at harmony" with myself and such. It is a challenge, as I am naturally a very active personality, and my first reaction to most problems is to jump and fix. That has gotten me into many vast problems in the past, leading to my long path towards redemption and forgiveness (same story for another time, perhaps). Thus sometimes I find myself quite at peace, but extremely restless at the same time, and the intensifies certain things which only increase my current irritations.
So in closing I say....do be careful of what you wish for, or what you want. Make sure you are prepared for the price that you will have to pay in order to reach that goal. Even if it's something as passe as graduating from school as a valedictorian, or as "intangible" as reading the stars for signs. The last thing anyone, you, or me really needs is for the balance to be of a price too high for us to pay, or to be willing to pay. Then...you are either well and truly screwed, or you seek "alternative methods", and then you and I, my friend....we'll have issues. :D
Note: Some thing were omitted from this post after the writing of it dealing more in depth with my accident and its immediate aftereffects.
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