Families have been the basic foundations of social structure for millenia, providing both a starting point and a destination for those seeking social advancement (read patri/matri-cide). The vast majority of people in all countries are born into some sort of familial structure, whether rich or poor, white or black, American or British. Though the family itself may be patriarchal or matriarchal, you get the idea.
Some cultures place more emphasis on families and their role in a person's life and/or development, in particular Asian and certain western European cultures as well (read Scottish and Irish). Granted, this may vary somewhat in the "Colonies", as cultures are watered down with every succeeding generation.
These ties may carry on after death, as the vast majority of those that have experienced the phenomena known as Near Death Experience (NDE) have reported seeing previously departed family members during this time. Myself included in that as well, though I rarely talk about it.
Familial ties range from the mundane, advice giving, "learning the ropes", "birds and the bees", etc, to fully paying their way through life (trust funds), to arranging for marriages to take place before the person in question is even old enough to appreciate the opposite sex (same sex arrangements generally do not happen in such "old world" families). They may also vary in the amount and saturation of contact with each individual in the family line. Anyone that has ever sat down to a "silent dinner" should be acquainted with the last.
Family is the best, and in some cases, and only way of passing down family knowledge, culture, history, "roots", and goals (if any). It is far easier to learn of one's background at the feet, as it were, or an older family member (grandparent, aunt/uncle, parent) than it is to do the research and leg work on their own.
Take my word on that one...
That all being said, I find myself consistently fascinated by those that have strong family ties, with histories and tall tales that go back generations (though anyone that pokes on my facebook may have a different idea, indeed). For I did not, and still don't, have such ties or history, with very rare exceptions. All I know of for sure is that I am a de facto Scottish clan member (MacMorris), part of my family hails from County Carlow, Ireland as well as the Windsor line, and on this side of the ocean I am part Western Cherokee. I also have family ties to Seoul, South Korea on my father's side.
Like so many in this day and age, I hail from what is called a "broken home", that is to say that my birth parents divorced at a young age for me and my mother re-married about 27 years ago. My father, being active military, was not around simply because he was not able, though I did see him when he took leave and on holidays...sometimes. He remarried as well to an absolutely wonderful lady from Korea that took me as a son and treated me as such (which for that culture is to say....like gold), though it took me years to get her bulgogi recipe from my sister (lol). It is my belief that she maintained the contact with him, as well as birthday and Christmas cards/presents. When they divorced, all of the above ended. In fact, it was 7 years between contact simply because he moved out of state and for whatever reason (choose to believe whatever (lol), I was not informed.
Mom's side? Oh that's an even bigger mess, suffice to say...the passive, "out of sight, out of mind" outlook from my father is preferable. So, basically...growing up I had my parents (mom and my stepfather) and my grandparent, who are both deceased now. My grandfather in '94 from lung disease he acquired in his 30 years as a Fire Chief) and my Grandmother in the same accident that killed me, though obviously I am not so good at *staying* dead.
So yea...I am amazed, delighted, and somewhat in awe of those that grew up with and still have a vastly different family experience that I have had. What is also of an amazement are those that abuse it, disparage it, or complain about it. Granted, even with that...when it comes to marriages and children, I believe that family should be kept at arm's reach. Though, I admit, it may come my own personal experiences more than anything else, though family by its very nature meddle in such things. And I am not a fan of someone else meddling in my affairs, unless it's a job. Wanna give me a job, meddle away!
For those of you out there that did/do have the opposite of my experience, enjoy it, revel in it. As the saying goes, "it could always be worse". Enjoy your parents, your aunts/uncles, sisters, brothers, cousins. Enjoy it for those like myself that did not have such things. Absorb it all, send some of the familial good will to us.
As always, and with everything, enjoy it while you can, for one day assuredly, it will end. Know what you have...when you have it, not when you do not.
